Pregnancy Guide for Partners

The Partner's Guide to Pregnancy

Pregnancy isn't just happening to her — it's happening to your relationship. Each trimester brings different needs, different fears, and different ways you can show up. This is everything you weren't taught in health class.

01

First Trimester

Weeks 1–13

What's happening biologically

HCG hormone surging, causing nausea and extreme fatigue. Breast tenderness is common. Her body is building the placenta from scratch. High miscarriage risk during this period adds secrecy stress — she may not want to tell anyone yet.

How she might feel

  • Constant nausea that can last all day, not just mornings
  • Overwhelming fatigue — like nothing she's experienced before
  • Emotional rollercoaster: excitement mixed with terror
  • May be keeping the secret from friends and family
  • Heightened smell sensitivity that triggers nausea

What you can do

  • Take over cooking if smells bother her — don't wait to be asked
  • Don't take her fatigue personally — she's growing a human
  • Be patient with sudden food aversions and cravings
  • Go to every appointment with her if you can
  • Help keep the secret if she wants to wait to share the news

What NOT to do

  • Don't tell anyone before she's ready — this is her call
  • Don't minimize nausea ("just eat crackers" isn't helpful)
  • Don't suggest she's being dramatic — the symptoms are real
  • Don't complain about changes to your routine

PinkyBond gesture examples

  • "I'll cook tonight — what sounds tolerable?"
  • "You rest. I've got everything."
  • "Want me to come to the appointment?"
02

Second Trimester

Weeks 14–27

What's happening biologically

Nausea usually subsides as HCG levels stabilize. Energy returns. The baby becomes visible as the belly grows. The anatomy scan around week 20 checks for development. Hormones stabilize somewhat, bringing a period of relative calm.

How she might feel

  • Relief that the nausea has passed
  • Growing excitement as pregnancy becomes visible
  • Body image adjustments — her body is changing rapidly
  • Nesting instincts starting to emerge
  • Anxiety about anatomy scan results

What you can do

  • Match her returning energy — she'll want to do things again
  • Help with nursery planning and baby prep
  • Attend the anatomy scan — this one matters a lot
  • Compliment her changing body sincerely, not performatively
  • Collaborate on baby preparation as a team

What NOT to do

  • Don't make weight comments — even "positive" ones can hurt
  • Don't dismiss her anxieties about the baby's development
  • Don't zone out during appointments — be present
  • Don't assume everything is fine now just because nausea stopped

PinkyBond gesture examples

  • "Let's work on the nursery this weekend"
  • "You look incredible"
  • "I read about what's happening at week 22"
03

Third Trimester

Weeks 28–40

What's happening biologically

The baby is growing rapidly, putting increased pressure on her organs. Back pain, swelling, insomnia, and Braxton Hicks contractions are common. This is the most physically demanding period of pregnancy.

How she might feel

  • Uncomfortable most of the time — sleeping, sitting, standing
  • Anxious about labor and delivery
  • Impatient for it to be over
  • Difficulty sleeping due to discomfort and bathroom trips
  • Nesting urgency mixed with fear and excitement

What you can do

  • Handle physical tasks — lifting, errands, housework
  • Prepare the hospital bag together so you both feel ready
  • Learn about labor stages so you're not blindsided
  • Be her birth plan advocate — know what she wants
  • Keep evenings low-pressure and offer foot or back rubs

What NOT to do

  • Don't say "any day now" repeatedly — she knows
  • Don't make plans she can't easily cancel at the last minute
  • Don't panic about every contraction — learn the difference
  • Don't suggest she's overreacting about discomfort

PinkyBond gesture examples

  • "I packed our hospital bag"
  • "Let me handle that — you sit"
  • "I read about labor positions to help you"
04

Labor & Delivery

The Big Day

What's happening biologically

Contractions intensify as the cervix dilates. Labor can last anywhere from hours to days. This is extreme physical exertion — comparable to running a marathon. A hormonal avalanche of oxytocin, adrenaline, and endorphins drives the process.

How she might feel

  • Fear, determination, and pain — often simultaneously
  • Vulnerable in a way she's never experienced
  • May be non-verbal during contractions
  • Needs advocacy — she may not be able to speak for herself

What you can do

  • Be her voice with medical staff when she can't speak
  • Know her birth plan inside and out
  • Hold her hand, stay calm, and be a steady presence
  • Advocate for her wishes with the medical team
  • Be present — not on your phone

What NOT to do

  • Don't compare pain levels ("my buddy's wife said...")
  • Don't leave the room for extended periods
  • Don't narrate what's happening unless she asks
  • Don't make it about you — this is her moment

PinkyBond gesture examples

  • "I'm right here"
  • "What do you need right now?"
  • "I'll talk to the nurse about that"

Questions partners actually ask

See our full glossary of health terms for partners

Knowledge is the first step. PinkyBond is the second.

Now that you understand what she's going through, let PinkyBond help you show up — with gesture suggestions tailored to the moment.

Coming Soon to the App Store

Partner Guides

Partner guides: Pregnancy

Actionable guides to help you support her through pregnancy — what to do, what to avoid.

She's Spotting in Early Pregnancy — How to Help Without Panicking

Spotting in the first trimester happens in 15-25% of pregnancies and is usually harmless — often caused by implantation bleeding or cervical sensitivity. Your job isn't to diagnose it, but to stay calm, help her track symptoms, and know the emergency signs: heavy bleeding, severe one-sided pain, or dizziness. Those mean ER, not wait-and-see.

Third Trimester Surprises — What Partners Aren't Told

The final stretch of pregnancy is physically brutal in ways nobody warns partners about. Lightning crotch, rib pain, constant peeing, pregnancy brain, and breathlessness are all normal — but deeply uncomfortable. You can't fix any of it, but understanding what's happening and showing up with patience makes an enormous difference.

Braxton Hicks vs Real Labor — A Partner's Decision Guide

Braxton Hicks are practice contractions — irregular, painless to mildly uncomfortable, and they stop with rest or hydration. Real labor contractions are regular, get closer together, intensify over time, and don't stop no matter what she does. If contractions are consistent at 5 minutes apart for 1 hour, it's time to call the provider or head in.

Pregnancy Food Rules — What Partners Actually Need to Know

The real dangers are listeria (deli meats, soft cheeses, raw sprouts), mercury (certain fish), raw or undercooked meat/eggs, and alcohol. Most other food "rules" are exaggerated or outdated. Your job isn't to police her plate — it's to make safe food accessible and let her make informed choices.

See all pregnancy partner guides
Coming Soon to the App Store